Newcastle trip

Well a day off college for a relaxing set of lectures on the ins and outs of the AQA examination this was not.
The lectures were fairly bog standard and the only saving grace was the fact that one of the blokes was more entheusiastic than the whole world. His lecture were only intersting because of this and contained about as much information as a babys ABC book.. The other bloke was more dull than your worst dreams. He just seemed to drone on and on about naff all.
There were a couple of funny things about the day.

The mics for the lecturers kept shorting and cutting out. This was more amusing due to the fleeting words mainly being things like ATP and Seal. This left alot of people anoyed but it was sorted out halfway through and improved the presentations as we could hear them talk about the keywords on each slide.

Should have had more sleep the night before. I had to keep myself awake by overstimulation. Listening to my mp3 player, while drawing silly images, while listening to the blokes drone on, while making notes, while fidgiting to keep a blood supply to my feet (god awful seats). This worked until about half way through and then I drifted in and out of the land of nod for about half an hour until the break for lunch.

The key for the alarm on the minibus broke when we got back. This meant as we are trying to head home the alarm will not turn off to let us in the van. There is a motion sensor in the college minibus and an imobaliser, so no matter what you did to the van the alarm went off in a 30 second blast. So we were stuck in the car park at newcastle in the cold, waiting for the man from the RAC to turn up. It took him half an hour to get to us and he managed to jury rig the van so that it did not go off so long as the engine was running. The experience was a LOL at first then people started to make phonecalls and get worried about getting home. I was fine just had a bit of a headache from lack of water and the constant alarm going off. We eventually got back at 6:30. Now that I think about it I should have gone to the pub down the road for a pint and to keep warm.

Sam blanked me and was annoyed all day. I could not get her to calm down or relax or enjoy herself. She seemed happy but not really, it was just a front for something that was bothering her. I dont know what it was but it just made the day drag on a bit more. Maybe it was me who was not giving her any conversation or me being tired or even my fault for not doing anything. I have no idea but she was like it all day.
Everyone in the class realised that she walks way to fast and is way, way too impatient to wait for traffic lights or other people to catch up. She kept walking on ahead and was miles infront of everyone. Would have helped if she had known were she was going!

Not a bad day out but might have had more fun at college as I started to miss everyone there as the day progressed and I got more and more tired. Why? I have no idea but I think the routine helps me to telax and wake up.
Tis bank holiday monday this week so I will see everyone on Tuesday. Have nowt to do and will be very bored over the weekend bugger! Will probabilly end up on Dawn Of War all weekend when I am not at work. The FUN!!!!1elevntyfirst1!!1111

Been made Redundant

Yesterday was one of the most annoying days I have had in a long time.
First
I got over half marks in the coursework for CPT6 and they want me to try me hardest to gain another 15 or so marks to get a better grade (possible but only at a push)

Second
I waited in all day for Biology just to find out that I could have gone home second period because they are revising for the exam that they have on Thursday. I am doing a different course to them so I dont have to do the work or the Exam.

Thirdly
Over the holidays I have been letting my beard grow to see what I would look like. The first day I go into college I get a mixed reaction of either not bothered or Shave off the fucker (to put it politley). Now I can usually take the critiscism but when I comes in the form of you look horrible or rough as shit, then fuck em all. I dont want to know whether they like beards in general. It took me two weeks to grow it to that length, which was impressive and it was not harming them in any way. My parents thought it looked OK (politically neutral) and Sam hated it with a passion (Chav boy also said he hated it) everyone else just pointed it out and wanted to know why? It was not the comments I got but the fact that when I wass talking people all I could see was them looking at the beard not me. So I have shaved it off under duress and to make them happy to be around a unsecure chaotic friend who they can look OK around. Rather than the misfit that I am

Finally
I have been made redundant! The community centre is in a serious amount of debt and can longer afford to pay me. So in two weeks I am again a jobless bum with no cash. I dont mind being made redundant but the money was a great help and now unless I get a job during the holidays I am screwed financialy. My parents have offered to help out but I know that they cannot at any point help me out financialy. They are screwed on the money front so I hate to get money off them.
The thing is though I would have not found out until it was too late because Amanda did not have the balls to say it to me earlier. I knew the job was temporary but now with only £2 in my bank I am screwed and will have to start saving up for the 2 months I have got between college and possible Uni so that I dont just have to sit there with fuck all to do. I could have bought myself an Xbox 360 with the cash I made but not nowing how long the thing would last I did not save. Now I have no cash and no Xbox and am going to be even more bored (Mind you I do have my skateboard).
Fuck, Fuck, Shitty, Fuck, fuck!

As you can tell I am seroiusly pissed off.
Not because of the day but because no one will leave me alone to do what I want. I have not had a hair cut in about 7 months and it is really long (about 2.5 inch) and it has no style and no mobility. Now I have been saying for the past 3 months that it needs styling and cutting but my mam and friends have all said the same thing "I Like it Long". SO Fuck I will do with my own hair what I want. But wait I cannot as my mam has threatened to throw me out if I get it shaved and will not give me the cash or time to get it done. I work weekends and have no cash at the moment(2 weeks time) and no matter what length I get it cut my man will say the same thing "Its a bit short". She is never happy with my decisions and will never trust me.
Fuck Her!

Disorders

This has become my site for showing how I am feeling and how my life is going at the present kind of like a journal of thoughts and feelings about life as me. I also use it to comment on different things that happen to me or that I do.
At the moment I am in a dip of everything (love, life, zest and more)
So in order to see how I am doing mentally i decided ot do a personality disorder test. This was to see whether I realy am paranoid of others and as avoidant as others say. The following is the results of the table

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86% Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 62% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Antisocial |||||| 26% Borderline |||||||||| 34% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 62% Narcissistic |||||||||| 38% Avoidant |||||||||||||| 54% Dependent |||||||||||||||||| 78% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 50%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

This is the better description in words for those of you who cannot understand the results I got:

Disorder Info

Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal

Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.

Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.

Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.

Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic

Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.

Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.

Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.

Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.

Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive

Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.

Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism

Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

I managed to get higher than normal people in every one other than Borderline and Antisocial. Strange Eh?

Anyhows take the test and see what you get and then post me the results. I have been open in this because it intrests me. Have a go and compare yourse to mine. I am sure I am normally more anything than you. I did answer the questions truthfully to

Stewarts Park

What a day. Had a lol with my college mates and thats the main reason for doing it.
Before we broke up we decided that we needed to do something on a wednesday of the weeks off. We have hardly any cash between us and needed some thing cheep and cheerful.

Frank has been involved in a minor car accident and has 1 broken rib and whiplash. So that made him unavailible for the trip.

So we all converge in the bus station at about 11 for a meet up. Thats Me, Dominic, Lisa, Gemma, Samayra and Sania and a surprise Farrah (have not seen her since crimbo).
SO we decide that the origonal idea of Roseberry topping was not the best one. The Think Tank was initialised and we came up with two ideas Redcar or Stewarts Park. After much thought and the purchase of despensabel goods (food and an easter egg for Frankie( I Think)) we go for the park idea.
I had the idea of packing my frisbee for a lol no matter where we went. So the park it was. The bus cost me and Dom about £2.40 and the Girls ( i use that term for a reason) £1.20. I cannot beleive they can get on for a half.
So we head on down to the park. We walk about and talk and take loads of photos (will have to make sure I still have them). We then find a little fair in the carpark of the grounds. Dom, Sam and San all have a go on the rides and we enjoy a game of frisbee. The sun starts to go and the wind picks up so we decide it best to go home.

On the journey back home Dom was not feeling so well. He looked as green as anything. He was also a bit snappy. We walked around town for a bit and then went our seperate ways. I went down Pauls and met up with him Russ and Co-Op Carl. Gave Russ about £60 for some Magic gear adn went home

Not a bad day but it lacked something to do other than mill about. I will try and post some of the few photos that I got. but I have stupidly shift-deleted all (yes all) of my photos from my computer harddrive. Balls.
I will never be able to get them back bar trawling through my backup and temp folders. All those wonderfull pictures representing a moment in time that can never been seen again. I feel a tool for doing it. Lovely pictures of Sam, Gemma, Lisa, Sania and even more group and other things photos even the ones of me with commie superman.
Balls as you can tell that was the but and final thing that annoys me about the day. I will have to get some of the ones they took and start to rebuild my photobank.

JEM

Jemma Griffiths is a singer songwriter.

In the last post I tried to put an emoheart but the bloody thing conflicts with the html of the site so all you got was a load of brackets. Now in the recent weeks I have been increasing my CD collection and have been getting all those albums you know I love.

In the past few days I have gone back to my RnB side (not very big but it does exist as part of the massive Urban scene I like). Now I know you are all thinking RnB? The Borbon and a strange and unusual mainly dominated by black artists music genre. I think not. He likes that shite music like:
Massive Attack
Leftfield
Lemon Jelly

I know JEM is not realy RnB but when you listen to the soul and rythem of the music you will see it bears a very close relationship. No mention of anything rude just a truly harmonising voice with a good mixed background (Dance is where its at). She was classed as Pop but it is better than that as it is a much deeper and varied talent.
The CD Finaly Woken is a truly insperational one. Like the Fatboy Slim (Norman Cook) she has gone for a varying mix of music types. Some is soft rock and some is truly pop but it is all there for you to listen too.
I ask you to make up your own mind before rejecting me as a shite music lover.
My fovorite tracks are 24 and Wish I. One of them rock and the other Pop. Two completly different types and both with a happy vibe that become a cheerfull meloncholly.

Other Cd's I have bopught recently:

The Rolling Stone's
A Bigger Bang
A fantastic album that goes back to the roots of The Rolling Stones. This is my first stones CD and hopefully not the last.

Placebo
Meds
Black Market Music
Placebo
Without You Im Nothing
All great albums. There style of rock of fantastic and the vocals help to enhance the feel and mood of the music. Great if you wanna play it loud and drown out all other noise.

Gwen Steffani
Love, Angel, Music, Baby
A wonderfully mixed and varying CD. yet again another one with the power to enhance the mood. Also very good for doing coursework too.

The Chemical Brothers
Dig Your Own Hole
One of there earlier CD's and great for it. I love these guys and there acid dance. Helps me to work. This Cd though was not easy to get in the shops so I had to send off to amazon for it (damn ex-stock policies).

Also recently my life has been invaded by the Ghost In The Shell francise. The films were excelent if a bit confusing but the series is fantastic and varied. I suggest that if you like Manga then this is the one for you. Tis the most popular for a reason

A Quick blog about loads of things

Veggie (well not according to Gemma)
Not going to badly my parents have taken it on board and are doing some more adventorus meals. Things like motzarella and tomato pittas and spinich and ricotta tartlets.

JEM
I <3>

Peanut KitKats
OMG. These are truely a sweet fit for Allah himself. They are godly and they know it. I love peanut butter and these are the best type of snack for it. There rich and yummy. Get one now. People on the net have tried using real peanut butter on one and apparently they are much better (I cannot be arsed doing it).

Caffine
Should not have it. the Cino Pepsi is the main problem the suger and caffine mix are harsh. I am currently tweeeaaaked on it. My legs are going ten to the dozen and my hands are like lightning. Fuck red bull this is the tits.

Cats
My mam wants a kitten this time. She nearly got one yesterday. She feels the house is the same as me. Silent and deadly. Looks like in about 5 weeks time we will get another cat much to the detrimental health of my dad.

Jokers
At the moment I am a sad harleyquin. My Jokes are perverse and my mind is telling me to wear the mask and commit anarchy that will fan the flames. The obsession with clows has come about recently and I cannot figure out where. I find them creepy and evil. A better mask for the borbon or just a phase . We will see!

Computing
As I type this I should be doing my hardcore coursework. I need to get better than half marks like last year. I already have more than last year and a better idea so I should get more marks. I also have a copy of toms from last year to help me (thanks tom). Once this is done it is more relaxing revision for exams. Only have six this year and three of them are English.

Mentally
I am happy with myself but I feel I have let myself down with the lack of work that I am doing. I am mainly lazing about and have no zest to do anything or bring about change. I hope that over the holls I can find sommet to do and I promise I will try and save up to go out and meet and greet new people and meet up with the old crew.

Think thats it but hey I can always mock the world.