New Me New Views?

As the year has gone by my view on politics has got more extreme and even more conflict oriented but without violence (work that one out). Becoming an anarchist was a slow process that involved alot of sticking it to the man and also going against what other people say just in order to show others that paradime breaking (outside the box thinking) has to be done using morals and ideas that have a factor of logic and truth.

In light of recent events around me (people becoming more aggressive or me becoming less aggressive) I decided to retake the Political Compass test to see if my co-ordinates have changed at all! By gum they have, I was:
Left 4.75
Libitarian 2.21

Now I am:
Left 7.75
Libitarian 4.46
This is an increase in political views and anarchy. Not the increase I had expected or the change I had thought it would be (less into the communism and more to the libitarian) the following diagram is a the view of change in my views. It shows the major difference. So I sujest anyone who took it last time should retake the test and compare the difference!

The next generation of Music

At the moment my taste in music has taken a strange turn unlike any other. I find myself listening to more and more main stream music but not the sort you think of when I say it, I mean things like Aphex Twin ("Drukqs" is a great album) and even worse for the people around me the Beastie Boys ("To The 5 Boroughs" is one of the all time greats). This has happened over a short space of time and is due to an ever expanding music collection (now have about 80 CD's).
Now the thing is I never used to like this type of music but as I have got older the raver and anarcist in me has bubbled to the surface without violence and not needing to be sedated.

I know what you are thinking hey just having a certain taste in music is not the main reason for thinking you are an anarchist. You are right thats why I urge you to visit the Politics of a madman site (linked in a sidebar). This will help you to make up your mind as to whether I am an anarchist or not.

In the past 3 weeks since being fired I have bought the following albums in the mindset that I will only have to money for a short while:

6 Beastie Boys Albums

• Licensed to Ill
• To The 5 Boroughs
• Hello Nasty
• Ill Communication
• Check Your Head
• Paul's Boutique

Kanye West

• Late Registration

5 Aphex Twin Albums

• Drukqs
• Chosen Lords
• Windowlicker
• I care Because You Do
• Come To Daddy

1 Limp Bizkit Album

• Results May Vary

1 Kill Bill Soundtrack
1 Avril Lavigne Album

• Under My Skin

Rancid

• Rancid
• Lets Go
• Life Won't Wait

SO all I can say is I am skint but hey my music collection brings all the boys to the yard. Damn Right its better than yours! I could teach you but I would have to charge.

My mucis has become me ove the past few months and now I understand how people can just sit and listen to music all the time and do nothing else.

AnArChY in a tin

When round Ollies on the Friday we have a lol andjust do silly things. Most of the time it involves just playing either magic or on the playstation for many hours till the time comes we all come down off our sugar highs.

This Friday was bit different the night took a strange turn and ended up wiht no sugar high but one thing that did come to light was the fact that I am a walking aggro machine. Dan had been fine all night and was calm and relaxed until I got round. He did not go mental he justb felt like trying to beat the shit out of everything in sight. This is not an isolated incodent there have been numerous times where I have just walked into a room and the aggro has started. The last time I went round Ollies was about 4 weeks ago and then we all got bored and started to wrestle for a lol. Ollie got choke slammed into the bed (which broke) and the mighty Cral got multiple peoples Elbows to the neck (owch).

It even happens at college. I can walk into an area and people will just want to argue and fight.

Why does this happen, are my slightly anarchist beliefs just bubbling to the surface and extruding as a chemical borne substance from my skin? Or is it just me in general, I can cause conflict wherever I go. Tis a good thing for someone else who is a hooligan but not for someone who wants to beat the system at its own game.

I have not settled down into a pattern of life yet and all this conflict is getting on my tits. I think it could be due to what happens when I have sugar. I can no longer synthesise the stuff and my mind goes ten to the dozen and I talk random shite as my mind thinks quicker and quicker. I can type faster and faster and more and more people think that I am fucked in the head as the time goes on.

So in order to rectify this problem I have decided to cut out all sugar from now on. Lets see if that makes a difference. I hope it does!

NOTE: Aggro is uneccissary agrression towards and object or person (colloqueal term)

Frank Hughes

This is a sad post for me but I write it with no emotion. I have lost the ability to expresss myself physically and now view everything with a strange but logical approach. This lack of emotion has been here for a long time and will be explained later in the post.

The reason why this post is sad because yesterday (9/04/06) at 13:05:30 my great great Uncle passed away from heart failure, lung failure and a blood clot in the brain. He died quietly with my dad and his life long friend Sid (known each other since they were 4) after hours of agony and pain from the clot putting pressure on his brain. He died calmly though and recognised and smiled at Sid for the first time since being admitted to the hospital after the nasty fall.
My whole family on my mams side is torn to shreads. Sid is now alone for the first time in his life and my Gran has lost her closest nephew (I think thats the realation but I am not to sure).
As you can tell I am not attched to him in the greatest way and have only ever met him about 6 times. I wish I knew him better and this is were the sadness comes into it. He was one of the few relatives I knew I had and now he is gone, I will never get chance to know him at all and he will dissapear into the eather and be lost as a childhood memory. All I knew him from was the postcards we got from him and Sid when they went on holiday. He was always enjoying a nice cool pint in the shade.

Thing that annoys me about all this is the fact that the funeral in next week on wednesday but I have and external exam for improving my grades. This means I cannot go unless I have got the dates wrong (which I am sure I have not) and will miss the whole thing. I feel realy bad about this and feel ashamed that I cannot go.

The reason why I said that I write this post with no emotion is because I have not cried properly in about 5 years and have lost the ability too. It wells up and I intensly cry for about 10 minutes and then nothing. In that 10 minutes I have had to have been alone and it feels as if I have forced the emotion. I have never cried as much as over the death over my cat but I spent the aniversiry of putting her to death with a headache from lack of emotional outlet. I have no outlet for crying and I feel even worse about things. I know I did not know Frank that well but I realy do feel very sad that he has died but cannot express it.

May god help and guide you Frank wherever and whoever you are.
;.(

No Job = No Cash

Well I have finally finished my job at the community centre. I can tell you that the new arragemanet is not gonna work and that they will (hopfully) be begging for me back. I cannot see the centre being managed on a weekend by multiple people. I just wont work.

Well no that I am Jobless I could save my money for going out and getting lashed but when I have I ever saved any money and when did I last go out to get pissed (18th Birthday). So I am now having to look for a new job to fund my rebelious lifestyle.
I asked Paul (Owns Games World in Forbe's Building) to give us a job and he said he might need me, so that is a possible but he said that if a better offer come up that I should take it.

I realised in the last few weeks that I hvae not been sticking it to the man and trying to screw over my work. Yes I still hate the system but I started to realise that everyone is in the same boat. I worked as best I could and still felt as if I was joining the working forces and becoming a cog in the machine. But no longer I have no job and no cash and no one to answer to again. The ignorance of unresponsibility is bliss. I can now get down to improving my grades and also doing what I do best fuck with people heads.

Over the past weekends I have come to like the company of the kids that the people bring to the centre, as you all know I am gonna be a primary school teacher. Over this weekend I was introduced to Brian Regans son. He is 2 years old and introduced himself perfectly, He even knew my name. He spoke better English than the women from the Bangladishi Womens Group that are in on a saturday and they have been in this country for 15 years. He was a lovely kid and by the looks of it he has been on this planet before (an old saying my grandad used to use because I was a quick learner) and he will do well.

Oh and by the way even though I am not working now I am Guessing that if at any point they need me at the centre they will ask. A good example is even though I have been fired I have been asked to cover one of Terrys shifts so that he can go and watch the football. Oh I am good and said OK (never one to deprive a man of his footie) and the fact that I would be gatting paid also helped but hey its easy money.

So I may be jobless but I will still be able to get some cash when Terrys off and from EMA so I am not completley boned yet.